When I play cricket
I'm the longest at the wicket
I can jump and swim
And I live in the gym
But I can't come to terms
With my existence as part of the universe
I gaze at the sky
I think how? when? and why?
I go to the lavatory
In tune with astrology
Well I get really confused
With the complicated scoring system
Used in tennis
I get around in canoes
Racing cars, balloons
I drink squash, eat polo
Mints, climb mountains solo
But I can't get my head
'round that salvador dali
Weirdo stuff
I really feel fine
With the planets in line
I see the future in hands
And I live off the land
But I can't see frank bruno
Asking me which star sign
I think he is
Whether you are physically
Or mentally inclined
Imagine what the fun could be
If both could be combined
I know I'm speaking as a weakling
With a cosmic kind of mind
But I can feel in sport emotions
Of a unifying kind
So do whatever you like to do
And whether you win or not
Make sure the game was fairly played
And try to smile a lot
Because whatever you do should be good for you
Make the most of what you've got
'cause whatever you do should be good for you
Make the most of what you've got

• A Fairy Tale
• A Lament to The Best
• Act With Mother
• Adversity
• Ah-men
• All The King's Men
• Always Tell The Voter What The Voter Wants to Hear
• Amereicha
• An Psalm
• Ashes to Ashes
• Asleep
• Australian Rules Football
• Awake
• Awesome Wheels
• Babbernation
• Because I'm a He
• Behave!
• Bella Ciao
• Benefits of The Game
• Big Mouth Strikes Again
• Bing Oh!
• Bob Beamon
• Catastrophe Reality
• Celebration, Florida
• Colliers March
• Come on Baby
• Comic-tragic-magic
• Dad's Mascot
• Declaring Peace
• Desmond
• Desmond Lynam's Sports Trivia
• Disabled Sports
• Disagreement
• Does God Go to The Toilet?
• Drugs
• Dumbing Down
• Education
• Ever Heard The One About The Pacemaker?
• Fight The Alton Bill!
• Fitzwilliam
• Flesh & Blood & Feelings
• For Those of You Watching in Black & White
• Graham Hill
• Groundhopping
• Happiness is Just a Chant Away
• Here's to The Rest of Your Life
• Hey Hey We're The Junkies
• Heysel Stadium
• Hmmm...
• Horses for Courses
• House Plants
• How Dare They Call It Football?
• Hurling & Imperialism
• I'm Coming Out
• I'm in Trouble Again
• I'm Not Sorry I Was Having Fun
• I'm Thick
• I'm With Stupid
• In The Thick of It
• Indoor League
• Insectkind
• Invasion
• Irish Joke
• Isn't It Horrible?
• Isolation
• It's a Man's Game
• Jack Horner
• Jesus in Vegas
• Jimmy Hill
• Jingle Smells
• K-2
• Karl Marx Never Made The Squad
• Kinnochio
• Knickers
• Knit Your Own Balaclava
• Ladies for Compassionate Lynching
• Lay People
• Leather on Willow, Etc.
• Let It Be
• Liberation
• Lie Lie Lie Lie
• Look! No Strings!
• Lying in The Dirt
• Man Papers His Crack
• Martini People
• Mary, Mary
• May Day
• Memories of Shilts
• Michaelangelo
• Mick Mcmanus' Haircut
• Moses With a Gun
• Mountain Biking
• Nadzeroon El Babo
• Naming Names
• New York Mining Disaster 1941
• Nothing That's New
• One Under Par
• One Way System
• Orienteering
• Outfoxed
• P. E.
• Pass It Along
• Pop Star Kidnap
• Punch Drunk
• Remembrance Day
• Rich Popstars Make Good Socialists
• Rip It Up
• Saying No
• Scare City
• School Team
• Seoul Music
• Seven Days
• Shake Baby Shake
• She's Got All The Friends That Money Can Buy
• Shhh
• Shock! Horror!
• Shoot
• Shot
• Smart Bomb
• Smash Clause 28!
• Snip Snip Snip
• Social Dogma
• Somebody Else
• Sometimes Plunder
• Spassky Fischer
• Sports
• Stagnation
• Stitch That!
• Studmarks on The Summits
• Sugar Daddy
• Sunday League Footy
• Tearing up Zoo
• The Ballad of Peoplekind
• The Bull Fights Back
• The Candidates Find Common Ground
• The Choice is Yours
• The Diggers Song
• The Good Ship Lifestyle
• The Health & Happiness Show
• The Incompatibility of Sport & Cosmic Consciousness
• The Physical Impossibility of Death in The Mind of Jerry Springer
• The Police Have Been Wonderful
• The Rise & Fall & Rise of Greavsie
• The Standing Still
• The Tree of Knowledge
• The Triumph of General Ludd
• The Wasteland
• Thorn-emi Lighting
• Three Years Later
• Times of Crisis
• Today's Sermon
• Top of The World
• We Support All Forms of Resistance Against This Racist System
• We Want Beans Not Goals
• Where Did The Chinaman Go?
• Whilst Stocks Last
• Wormkind
• Www Dot
• You Can't Trust Anyone Nowadays
• Younger Moralists
• Yup & Under