So this husband came home drunk each night
And he thrashed her black and he thrashed her white
He thrashed her to within an inch of her life
Then he slept like a log, did her husband
But as he lay and snored in bed
A strange idea came into her head
So she went for the needle and she went for the thread
And straight to her sleeping husband
She started to stitch with a girlish thrill
With a woman's art and a seamstress' skill
She pinned and tucked with an iron will
All around her sleeping husband
When her husband awoke with a pain in his head
He found he could not move in bed
'sweet christ I've lost the use of me legs!'
But the wife just smiled at her husband
Then she thrashed him black, she thrashed him blue
With a frying pan and a colander, too
With a rolling pin just a stroke or two
A battered and bleeding husband
Isn't it true what small can do
With a thread and a stitch and a thought or two
He's wiped his slate, his boozing's through
Goodbye to a drunken husband
Kick out the jams, motherfucker!
Shhh

• A Fairy Tale
• A Lament to The Best
• Act With Mother
• Adversity
• Ah-men
• All The King's Men
• Always Tell The Voter What The Voter Wants to Hear
• Amereicha
• An Psalm
• Ashes to Ashes
• Asleep
• Australian Rules Football
• Awake
• Awesome Wheels
• Babbernation
• Because I'm a He
• Behave!
• Bella Ciao
• Benefits of The Game
• Big Mouth Strikes Again
• Bing Oh!
• Bob Beamon
• Catastrophe Reality
• Celebration, Florida
• Colliers March
• Come on Baby
• Comic-tragic-magic
• Dad's Mascot
• Declaring Peace
• Desmond
• Desmond Lynam's Sports Trivia
• Disabled Sports
• Disagreement
• Does God Go to The Toilet?
• Drugs
• Dumbing Down
• Education
• Ever Heard The One About The Pacemaker?
• Fight The Alton Bill!
• Fitzwilliam
• Flesh & Blood & Feelings
• For Those of You Watching in Black & White
• Graham Hill
• Groundhopping
• Happiness is Just a Chant Away
• Here's to The Rest of Your Life
• Hey Hey We're The Junkies
• Heysel Stadium
• Hmmm...
• Horses for Courses
• House Plants
• How Dare They Call It Football?
• Hurling & Imperialism
• I'm Coming Out
• I'm in Trouble Again
• I'm Not Sorry I Was Having Fun
• I'm Thick
• I'm With Stupid
• In The Thick of It
• Indoor League
• Insectkind
• Invasion
• Irish Joke
• Isn't It Horrible?
• Isolation
• It's a Man's Game
• Jack Horner
• Jesus in Vegas
• Jimmy Hill
• Jingle Smells
• K-2
• Karl Marx Never Made The Squad
• Kinnochio
• Knickers
• Knit Your Own Balaclava
• Ladies for Compassionate Lynching
• Lay People
• Leather on Willow, Etc.
• Let It Be
• Liberation
• Lie Lie Lie Lie
• Look! No Strings!
• Lying in The Dirt
• Man Papers His Crack
• Martini People
• Mary, Mary
• May Day
• Memories of Shilts
• Michaelangelo
• Mick Mcmanus' Haircut
• Moses With a Gun
• Mountain Biking
• Nadzeroon El Babo
• Naming Names
• New York Mining Disaster 1941
• Nothing That's New
• One Under Par
• One Way System
• Orienteering
• Outfoxed
• P. E.
• Pass It Along
• Pop Star Kidnap
• Punch Drunk
• Remembrance Day
• Rich Popstars Make Good Socialists
• Rip It Up
• Saying No
• Scare City
• School Team
• Seoul Music
• Seven Days
• Shake Baby Shake
• She's Got All The Friends That Money Can Buy
• Shhh
• Shock! Horror!
• Shoot
• Shot
• Smart Bomb
• Smash Clause 28!
• Snip Snip Snip
• Social Dogma
• Somebody Else
• Sometimes Plunder
• Spassky Fischer
• Sports
• Stagnation
• Stitch That!
• Studmarks on The Summits
• Sugar Daddy
• Sunday League Footy
• Tearing up Zoo
• The Ballad of Peoplekind
• The Bull Fights Back
• The Candidates Find Common Ground
• The Choice is Yours
• The Diggers Song
• The Good Ship Lifestyle
• The Health & Happiness Show
• The Incompatibility of Sport & Cosmic Consciousness
• The Physical Impossibility of Death in The Mind of Jerry Springer
• The Police Have Been Wonderful
• The Rise & Fall & Rise of Greavsie
• The Standing Still
• The Tree of Knowledge
• The Triumph of General Ludd
• The Wasteland
• Thorn-emi Lighting
• Three Years Later
• Times of Crisis
• Today's Sermon
• Top of The World
• We Support All Forms of Resistance Against This Racist System
• We Want Beans Not Goals
• Where Did The Chinaman Go?
• Whilst Stocks Last
• Wormkind
• Www Dot
• You Can't Trust Anyone Nowadays
• Younger Moralists
• Yup & Under