I spend my days watching tv with a beer (oooh-aah, you're fat)
It seems to cause my ample belly to appear (oooh-ahh, you're fat)
Then one day my woman went and left me (did not want to sleep with a whale)
She said she found someone more manly (a body that could not fail)

So I went and I looked into the mirror (you looked like a big tub of goo)
And I dreamed of being big and strong (dreaming was the best you could do)
I thought to myself, what would I ask for? (if someone gave you a wish)
I think I'd like to look like my idol (that great big manly dish)

I want to look like arnold schwartzenegger
I don't want to big fat and big (oh no, oh no)
I want to look like arnold schwartzenegger
I want a manly physique

I put down the cheetos and went and went on a crash diet (carrots were all you ate)
Then I found my skin was turning orange (you're just a big mistake)
Then I overdosed on diet pills (too bad you did not die)
Still I want to look like my hero (that great big beefy guy)

I want to look like arnold schwartzeneggar
I don't want to big fat and big (oh no, oh no)
I want to look like arnold schwartzeneggar
I want a manly physique

So I got a weight set and some steroids (to make you big and strong)
And I worked out really really hard (but it did not last for long)
I put out my back and the steroids made me sterile (not like it mattered anyway)
And as for looking like my idol (he has one thing to say)

I don't want to look like arnold schwartzeneggar
I don't mind being fat and big (oh no, oh no)
I don't want to look like arnold schwartzeneggar
It's easier being fat and lazy

(you'll never look like arnold schwartzeneggar
You'll always be fat and big
Oh yes, oh yes
You'll never look like arnold schwartzeneggar
You are fat and ugly.)

• Car Full of Pain
• Don't Go Into Politics
• Goin' Huntin'
• I Want to Look Like Arnold
• Jesus' Brother Bob
• Let's Go Bowling
• No Sale/no Store
• The Ballad of Dan
• The Canadian Crisis Song
• The Christmas Song
• The Credit Song
• The Last Saskatchewan Pirate