Sometimes I really want to be alone
But that's one state I'm never in
Because I know that I've got millions upon millions
Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin

(germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding
(germs) but they just come right back
(germs) I can't even see 'em, but I know they're up to something
Hey, don't touch that - you don't know where it's been

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

Now if I ever dare to go to sleep
That's when they start their sneak attack
In the morning I wake up in utter horror
To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque

(germs) can't get those parasitic creatures off my face
(germs) and there's more comin' every day
(germs) I never said that they could camp out on my body
I wish they'd pack their tiny little bags and move away

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

They're creepin' around my shorts
They're under the bathroom sink
They're ridin' inside my car
They're swimmin' in my drink
They're hidin' between my toes
They're lurkin' in every kiss
I got 'em way up my nose
In every orafice
I'm gonna show them who's boss
I'm gonna get even yet
Just gimme some lysol spray
Just hand me a moist towelette
Don't tell me I'm paranoid
I know that they're after me
Look under the microscope
See? ?

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

They're all over me
I can feel 'em all over me
Over every part of me
Microscopic bacteria
I know they're watching me
They're always watching me
They're coming after me
Microscopic bacteria
Won't somebody help me
Please somebody help me
You've got to believe me
They're out to get me
They wanna control me
They wanna destroy me
They're tryin' to kill me
It kind of upsets me

• Albuquerque
• Germs
• Grapefruit Diet
• It's All About The Pentiums
• Jerry Springer
• My Baby's in Love With Eddie Vedder
• Polka Power!
• Pretty Fly for a Rabbi
• The Saga Begins
• The Weird Al Show Theme
• Truck Drivin' Song