Well, hey how ya doin' have a seat have a drink
Boy it's good to see you, what can I say?
Oh, sorry gotta run we'll get together again
Say, what was your name anyway?
Well we're working on the problem we'll get back to you soon
But don't try to call me I'll be in a meeting every afternoon
For a year maybe longer keep in touch
Thanks for dropping by and have a nice day

(chorus)
The check's in the mail - hey! you're beautiful
Don't ever change you know what I mean
My girl will call your girl
We'll talk it through lunch
Or leave a message on my machine
So baby won't you sign on the dotted line
I'm gonna make your dreams come true
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?

Well hey wait a minute what's the matter hold on
You want me to fork over the loot?
You say you hate my guts you wanna take me to court
And you got yourself a lawyer with a three-piece suit?
Well I'm proud to say you're not the only critic of mine (yeah)
So if you wanna sue me I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait in line
Take a number thanks for calling who loves you baby
Don't forget to read the fine print.

(chorus)

Oh, trust me!

The check's in the mail - hey! you're beautiful
Don't ever change, you know what I mean
Why don't you leave a message with my girl
I'll have lunch with your machine
So baby won't you sign on the dotted line
I'm gonna make your dreams come true
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?
The check's in the mail, would I lie to you?

• 1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
• Another One Rides The Bus
• Baby Likes Burping
• Belvedere Cruising
• Born to Be Mild
• Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios
• Chicken Pot Pie
• Christmas Memories of & Quot;Weird Al & Quot;Yankovic
• Crampton Comes Alive
• Dead Car Battery Blues
• Fast Food
• Fatter
• Flatbush Avenue
• Free Delivery
• Gee, I'm a Nerd
• Gotta Boogie
• Gravy on You
• Green Eggs & Ham
• Happy Birthday
• Hit Me With a Rock
• Holiday Greetings 1987
• Holiday Greetings 1988
• I'll Be Mellow when I'm Dead
• I'll Repair for You
• If I Could Make Love to a Bottle
• It's Still Billy Joel to Me
• Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion
• Laundry Day
• Leisure Suit Serenade
• Matter of Crust
• Never Met a Person as Wonderful as Me
• Nobody Here but Us Frogs
• Pacman
• Polka Patterns
• School Cafeteria - Version 1
• School Cafeteria - Version 2
• Snack All Night
• Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut
• Such a Groovy Guy
• Take Me Down
• Take Me to The Liver
• Take The & Quot;L & Quot;Out of Liver
• The Ballad of Kent Marlow
• The Check's in The Mail
• Title of The Song in Question
• We Got The Beef
• Which Backstreet Boy is Gay
• Won't Eat Prunes Again
• Yoda Chant
• You Don't Take Your Showers