Well, I stare at myself in the mirror
When I wake up every morn
And I marvel at how great I've been
Since the day that I was born

I've made so many albums
I've run out of things to name 'em
My fans all want to be like me
And really, who can blame 'em

Teenage groupies all surround me
I guess I know why
No one else can match my charm
Why do they even try

All the girls in college
Turned me down for other fellas
But I know why, it seems to me
They're just insanely jealous
Who wouldn't be

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don't understand
That it's hard to be too humble
When you know that you're so grand

And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect
I just want you to see
That I've never met a person
Who's as wonderful as me

Now, I'm not arrogant or haughty
And I'm certainly not conceited
But anyone trying to match my wits
Is very soon defeated

I'm a marvellous human being
I'm just one big hunk of man
Sometimes I have to marvel
At how very great I am

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don't understand
That it's hard to be too humble
When you know that you're so grand

And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect
I just want you to see
That I've never met a person
Who's as marvellous, spectacular
Fantastic and terrific
And so very great and wonderful as me

• 1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
• Another One Rides The Bus
• Baby Likes Burping
• Belvedere Cruising
• Born to Be Mild
• Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios
• Chicken Pot Pie
• Christmas Memories of & Quot;Weird Al & Quot;Yankovic
• Crampton Comes Alive
• Dead Car Battery Blues
• Fast Food
• Fatter
• Flatbush Avenue
• Free Delivery
• Gee, I'm a Nerd
• Gotta Boogie
• Gravy on You
• Green Eggs & Ham
• Happy Birthday
• Hit Me With a Rock
• Holiday Greetings 1987
• Holiday Greetings 1988
• I'll Be Mellow when I'm Dead
• I'll Repair for You
• If I Could Make Love to a Bottle
• It's Still Billy Joel to Me
• Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion
• Laundry Day
• Leisure Suit Serenade
• Matter of Crust
• Never Met a Person as Wonderful as Me
• Nobody Here but Us Frogs
• Pacman
• Polka Patterns
• School Cafeteria - Version 1
• School Cafeteria - Version 2
• Snack All Night
• Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut
• Such a Groovy Guy
• Take Me Down
• Take Me to The Liver
• Take The & Quot;L & Quot;Out of Liver
• The Ballad of Kent Marlow
• The Check's in The Mail
• Title of The Song in Question
• We Got The Beef
• Which Backstreet Boy is Gay
• Won't Eat Prunes Again
• Yoda Chant
• You Don't Take Your Showers