All my friends are married
Every tom and dick and harry
You must be strong
To go it alone
Here's to the bachelors
And the bowery bums
And those who feel that they're the ones
Who are better off without a wife

I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin' at the moon
Goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please
I don't have to ask permission
If I want to go out fishing
And I never have to ask for the keys

Never been no valentino
Had a girl who lived in reno
Left me for a trumpet player
Didn't get me down
He was wanted for assault
Though he said it weren't his fault
Well the coppers rode him right
Out of town

(chorus)

Selfish about my privacy
As long as I can be with me
We get along so well I can't believe
I love to chew the fat with folks
And listen to all your dirty jokes
I'm so thankful for these friends
I do receive

(chorus)

• Better Off Without a Wife
• Big Joe & Phantom 309
• Eggs Sausage
• Emotional Weather Report
• Nighthawk Postcards
• On a Foggy Night
• Putnam County
• Spare Parts I
• Spare Parts ii & Closing
• Warm Beer & Cold Women