There was a thick set man with frog eyes
Who was standing by the door
And a little bald man with wing-nut ears
Was waiting in the car
Well robert moore passed the frog-eyed man
As he walked into the bar,
And betty coltrane she jumped under her table.

What's your pleasure? asked the barman
He had a face like boiled meat
There's a girl called betty coltrane
That I have come to see
But I ain't seen that girl 'round here
For more than a week
And betty coltrane she hid beneath the table.

Well, then in came a sailior with
Mermaids tattooed on his arms,
Followed by the man with the wing-nut ears
Who was waitin' in the car
Well, robert moore sensed trouble,
He'd seen it comin' from afar
And betty coltrain she gasped beneath the table.

Well, the sailor said I'm looking for my wife,
They call her betty coltrain!
The frog-eyed man said that can't be;
That's my wife's maiden name.
And the man with the wing-nut ears said,
Hey, I married her back in spain!
And betty coltrain crossed herself beneath the table.

Well, robert moore stepped up and said
That woman is my wife.
And he drew a silver pistol
And a wicked bowie knife;
And he shot the man with the wing-nut ears
Straight between the eyes
And betty coltrain, she moaned under the table.

The frog-eyed man jumped at robert moore,
Who stabbed him in the chest
And as mister frog-eyes died he said
Betty, your the girl that I loved best!
The sailor pulled a razor,
Robert blasted it to bits
And betty, I know you're under the table.

Well have no fear, said robert moore,
I do not want to hurt you!
Never a woman did'na love me
Half as much as you.
You are the blessed' sun, girl
And you are the sacred moon.
And betty shot his legs out from under the table!

Well, robert moore went down heavy
With a crash upon the floor
And over to his trashin' body
Betty coltrain she did crawl.
She put the gun to the back of head
And pulled the trigger once more
And blew his brains out all over the table!

Well betty stood up and shook her head
And waved the smoke away.
Said, I'm sorry mr barman
To leave your place this way.
As she emptied out their wallets she said,
I'll collect my severence pay.
And then she winked and threw a dollar on the table.

• 500 Miles
• A Dead Song
• All The Pretty Little Horses
• All The Pretty Little Horsies
• And No More Shall We Part
• As I Sat Sadly by Her Side
• Banks of The Roses
• Big-jesus-trash-can
• Blast Off
• Blundertown
• Capers
• Cassiel's Song
• Cindy
• Cry
• Darker With The Day
• Dead Joe
• Deep in The Woods
• Down in a Willow Garden
• Dull Day
• Dumb Europe
• Faraway, So Close!
• Fears of Gun
• Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow
• Figure of Fun
• Gates to The Garden
• Girl at The Bottom of My Glass
• God is in The House
• God's Hotel
• Hallelujah
• Hamlet
• Happy Birthday
• Hard on for Love
• Ho-ho
• How Long, How Long Blues
• I Just Dropped In
• I Put a Spell on You
• I Rowed a Little Boat
• Jack's Shadow
• Jennifer's Veil
• Junkyard
• Just You & Me
• Katy Cruel
• Kewpie Doll
• King Ink
• King Kong Kitchee Kitchee Ki-mi-o
• Kiss Me Black
• Knoxville Girl
• Long Time Fan
• Long Time Man
• Love Henry
• Love Letter
• Mack The Knife
• Mama's Boy
• Mister Frog Went A-courting
• Mojo
• Mutiny in Heaven
• Nick The Stripper
• Oh My Lord
• Oh, Happy Day
• Oxford Tragedy
• Patripassian
• Peace in The Valley
• Pleasure is The Boss
• Release The Bats
• Riddle House
• Rye Whiskey
• Sad Dark Eyes
• Sad Waters
• Sail Away
• Scum
• Several Sins
• She Fell Away
• She's Hit
• Shivers
• Six Inch Gold Blade
• Sonny's Burning
• Stagalee
• Stow-a-way
• Swampland
• Sweetheart Come
• That's What Jazz is to Me
• The Ballad of Robert Moore & Betty Coltrane
• The Big Hurt
• The Dim Locator
• The Friend Catcher
• The Good Hun
• The Sorrowful Wife
• The Sweetest Embrace
• The Willow Garden
• There is a Light
• Till The End of The World
• Time Jesum Transeuntum Et Non Riverentum
• Tower of Song
• Truck Love
• Tupelo Blues
• Viviane
• Vixo
• Wade in The Water
• We Came Along This Road
• What Can I Give You?
• Where The Action Is
• Wild World
• Yard
• Young Hunting