[from "Desperate Housewives" soundtrack]

I want to tell you all the story bout the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
She said mama I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA

The note said Mrs Johnson you're a wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking and a running round with men and goin' wild
We don't believe you ought to be a bringing up your little girl this way
It was signed by the secretary Harper Valley PTA

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
She walked up to the blackboard and I recall the things she had to say
She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA

Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he asked me for a date
And Mrs Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice whenever he's away
And Mr Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town
And shouldn't wodow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down

Well Mr Harper couldn't make it cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
When you have the nerve to tell me that you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well this is just a little Payton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites
No I wouldn't put you on because it really did it happened just this way
The day my mama socket it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socket it to the Harper Valley PTA

• Blessed
• Chances Are
• Concrete Angel
• Harper Valley PTA
• Little Bits of Lightning
• When God Fearin' Women Get The Blues