America, the land of the free, the home of the brave
That's what I thought before I toured there
You see, I've got myself being seduced by the sheer americana of it all
And I'd seen their images on television
Of lee harvey oswald, john f. kennedy's assassination
And I thought america is a violent place
And america is keen to trap you
Like you had giant tentacles that wrapped themselves around you
Until you couldn't move and you were trapped
The land of the free, the home of the brave, guns and the wild west

Hey big fat cowboy, wearing your big stetson
Hey big fat cowboy, flashing your big six gun
Hey big fat cowboy, singing country & western
Hey big fat cowboy, is this the way that the west was won? yeah

I found myself in the back of a big ford thunderbird
With a slick-looking dude
He looked like a punk from a b-movie,
The sort of punk that would piss everybody off
Until lee marvin put a bullet through his brain
The punk looked over at me
Kinks? what kind of a motherfuckin' name is that?
Then he reached over and picked up the car telephone
Hey kid, I've got elvis presley's phone number.
I've got ann-margret's phone number. I've fucked ann-margret!
I knew mick avory would be impressed with this, but I was not
And then the punk looked over at me
I'll dial elvis presley he dialed a number
Hey, is that you elvis? I wanna speak to the colonel.
Jump to it, you mother!
And then he looked over at me in a menacing way,
Reached into the glove-compartment and took out a revolver
He waved the six gun around, menacingly
You see kid, when I deal with people, they have to treat me right,
Otherwise they contend with this! a gun!
Have you ever seen a gun before?
I hadn't
Then he waved it around, put it back in the glove-compartment
Welcome to peoria, illinois, home of middle america,
Ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild west

All american wise guy, why achieve that gleam in the sun
Hamburger and a milkshake, all american dude
Popcorn and a t-bone, hot dog with a big smile
And a bad attitude, yeah yeah yeah

Flying across america on a twa, flying to california
To appear on television, performing our new record set me free
The kinks were met by a union man with a contract to sign
And the kinks didn't like signing contracts
Hey, are you the kinks? sign this piece of paper guys!
I want you to sign this union-document so you can appear on television
No thanks mate, we don't wanna sign a contract
You have to sign, otherwise you cannot appear
We don't want to sign a piece of paper, alright!
Listen kid, you sign the piece of paper.
You with your red hunting jackets and your yellow frilly shirts.
Sign the piece of paper!
Do you wanna sign it? he looked over at dave
Watcha gonna do kid? fuck off!
Which is a fairly reasonable thing to say in the circumstances,
But not very wise, you see, the man was a union executive
Alright. once I file my report on you guys
You're never gonna work in america again.
You're gonna find out just how powerful it is in america!
The land of ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild west

Great american union rules with the fist, a smile and a gun
Great american napalm lights up the sky like the sun
Great american eagle swoops down from the sky up above

And I remember the images of lee harvey oswald
Appearing on tv saying he was a patsy
A union man is a-framin' the kinks
While I thought this is the land of opportunity
But the cosa nostra are everywhere
Land of ice-cream and apple pie

Hey big fat cowboy, wearing that big six gun
Hey big fat cowboy, singing country & western
Hey big fat cowboy, moving that big six gun
Hey big fat cowboy, is this the way that the west was won?
Yeah yeah yeah

And 6 weeks later robert and grenville and larry
Were sitting in their office in carnaby street
And the letter came from the american government
It was from the american federation of musicians union
A band known as the kinks,
The english beat group known as the kinks,
Are banned from america.
Their license to perform has been revoked indefinitely
Yeah, all the same fuck off
In the land of the ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild west

• 7th Channel
• A Little Bit of Sunlight
• Aggravagion
• All Aboard
• All Night Stand
• Americana
• And I Will Love You
• Animal
• Are You Ready Girl?
• Arrival
• Art School Babe
• Babies
• Baby Face
• Bald Headed Woman
• Ballad of Julie Finkle
• Banana Boat Song
• Beautiful Delilah
• Beautiful Night
• Berkeley Mews
• Body
• Bright Lights
• Cadillac
• Celluloid Heroes
• Charity
• Chosen People
• Climb Your Wall
• Close to The Wire
• Cold Winter
• Creepin' Jean
• Dance of The Azuras
• Danger Zone
• Days
• Dear Margaret
• Did Ya
• Did You See His Name?
• Do You Wish to Be a Man?
• Doing The Best for You
• Don't
• Don't Ever Let Me Go
• Down All The Days
• Drift Away
• Eastern Eyes
• Easy Comere You Went
• Elevator Man
• Entertainment
• Eternity
• Ev'rybody's Gonna Be Happy
• Expectations
• Feeling
• Fire Burning
• Flash's Confession
• Fortis Green
• Freedom Lies
• Glamour
• Good Luck Charm
• Got Love if You Want It
• Hatred
• Here Comes Yet Another Day
• Hold My Hand
• Hot Potatoes
• How Do I Get Close
• I Believed You
• I Bet You Won't Stay
• I Don't Need You Any More
• I Go to Sleep
• I Took My Baby Home
• I'll Get Over
• I'm a Hog for You Baby
• I'm a Lover Not a Fighter
• I'm Crying
• I've Been Driving on Bald Mountain
• I've Got Your Number
• Imaginations Real
• In You I Believe
• Is It Any Wonder
• Is This The Only Way
• It
• It's Alright
• Just Can't Go to Sleep
• Kentucky Moon
• Kochan
• Ladder of Success
• London Song
• Lonely Hearts
• Long Tall Sally
• Long Tall Shorty
• Look a Little on The Sunny Side
• Look Through Any Doorway
• Loony Balloon
• Love Gets You
• Matter of Decision
• Maximum Consumption
• Mean Disposition
• Motorway
• Mountain Woman
• Move Over
• My Diary
• Mysterious Love
• New World
• Nobody's Fool
• Not Far Away
• Nothin' More to Lose
• Now & Then
• Oh! What a Day It's Gonna Be
• One Energy
• One Fine Day
• One Night With You
• Only a Dream
• Perfect Strangers
• Phobia
• Pretty Polly
• Quiet Life
• Return
• Return to Waterloo
• Reveal Yourself
• Run
• Sand on My Shoes
• Scattered
• See The Beast
• Set Me Free
• She's Got Everything
• Sitting in My Hotel
• Slum Kids
• So Mystifying
• Somebody Stole My Car
• Soothe Sayer
• Spiritual Planet
• Spotty Grotty Anna
• Still Searching
• Stop Your Sobbing
• Supersonic Rocket Ship
• Surviving
• Take One More Chance
• Tapas
• Telepathy
• Tell Me Now So I'll Know
• The Informer
• The Million-pound-semi-detached
• The Road
• The Shirt
• The World is Changing Hands
• There's a New World Just Opening for Me
• This I Know
• This Strange Effect
• Time Will Tell
• To The Bone
• Tokyo
• Too Much Monkey Business
• Too Serious
• True Story
• Uk Jive
• Unfinished Business
• Unreal Reality
• Visionary Dreamer
• Voices in The Dark
• Wall of Fire
• War is Over
• What Are We Doing
• When The Wind Blows
• Where Do You Come From
• Wild Man
• X-ray
• You Do Something to Me
• You Don't Know My Name
• You Still Want Me