Don't tell me you don't know what love is
When you're old enough to know better
When you find strange hands in your sweater
When your dreamboat turns out to be a footnote
I'm a man with a mission in two or three editions

And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book

Chapter one we didn't really get along
Chapter two I think I fell in love with you
You said you'd stand by me in the middle of chapter
Three
But you were up to your old tricks in chapters
Four, five and six

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

Don't tell me you don't know the difference
Between a lover and a writer
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I'd still own the film rights and be working on the
Sequel

• Alibi Factory
• Almost Ideal Eyes
• Back on My Feet
• Bright Blue Times
• Brilliant Disguise
• Burnt Sugar is So Bitter
• Come Away, Death
• Don't Be Careless Love
• Everyday I Write The Book
• Fall of The World's Own Optimist
• Forty-five
• Gigi
• Heart-shaped Bruise
• Honey, Are You Straight
• I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself
• I Throw My Toys Around
• I'll Never Fall in Love Again
• It Tears Me Up
• Lesson in Cruelty
• Life Shrinks
• Little Goody Two Shoes
• Long Journey Home
• Lost in The Stars
• Lovers That Never Were
• Mischievous Ghost
• Mistress & Maid
• My Mood Swings
• O, Mistress Mine
• Party Party
• Put Your Big Toe in The Milk of Human Kindness
• She
• St Stephen's Day Murders
• Suspect My Tears
• That Day is Done
• The King of The Unknown Sea
• The Night Before Larry Was Stretched
• The Only Daddy That'll
• The Unfailing Welcome to The Voice
• Tommy's Coming Home
• Twenty-five Fingers
• Weird Nightmare
• What Do I Do Now?
• When That I Was & a Little Tiny Boy
• Withered & Died
• You Want Her Too