I fell asleep on the couch last night, woke up with the tv on.
There was a woman in tight cotton exercise shorts
And a big plastic machine she was climbing on.
She said the abacycle guarantees ten inches off your waist,
And 50 pounds in just 3 minutes a day.
I went to bed knowing the revolution had been postponed
And everything was ok.

You can buy it, you can try it, go right ahead.
But don't be fooled folks, there's only one.
I forget the guy's name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

I switched the channels and there was evel knievel, I thought that he was
Dead.
I found myself sitting there quietly, hanging on every word he said.
Now folks, the stimulator removes all pain from your life.
And the best day of your life will be when you try this little thing out.
The camera moved in as he said, now let me tell you ladies and gentlemen,
Pain is something old evel knows a little about

You can buy it, you can try it, that's what I said.
But don't be fooled folks, there's only one.
I forget that guy's name but I know somebody must have said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

And a fellow comes on shouting free haircuts for life!,
Somehow you cut your hair with a vacuum cleaner.
And then I switched the channels and there was dionne warwick, communing
With her psychic friends.
I watched for hours, taking warmth, comfort,
And pleasure in the things that I despise.
Touched by how much they needed me, and that gleeful desperation in their
Eyes.

You can buy it, you can try it, it'll help you in bed.
But don't be fooled folks, there's only one.
I forget that guy's name but I know somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

So dionne, cher, and all my late-night friends, I drink to your health.
And tony little, america's personal trainer, please kill yourself.
Now I've sold a few things myself in my time, and by the way folks,
There's some t-shirts on your way outside.
Well last night I dreamed of lipstick and tight little cotton shorts
Harder, faster, she breathed.
One, two, three, four, five
Ride, sally ride, girl, ride sally ride.

You can buy it, you can try it, it'll help you in bed.
But don't be fooled folks, there's only one.
I forget that guy's name but somebody said
Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come.

• 30 Days Out
• A Love So Fine
• Across The Borderline
• Action in The Streets
• After The Thunder
• All I Need
• All Night Long
• All The Way Home
• American Skin
• And The Band Played
• Angelyne
• Arabian Nights
• Baby I
• Bad Moon Rising
• Ballad of The Self-loading Pistol
• Blowin' in The Wind
• Blowing in The Wind
• Boom Boom Boom
• Bye Bye Johnny
• Chevrolet Deluxe
• Child Bride
• Cindy
• Club Soul City
• Dead Man Walking
• Dedication
• Deportee
• Drop on Down & Cover Me
• English Sons
• Everybody's Looking for Somebody
• Fade to Black
• Follow That
• Follow That Dream
• Forever Young
• Fortunate Son
• Freehold
• From Small Things Big Things Come
• Get That Feeling
• Get up Stand Up
• Good Rockin' Tonight
• Gypsy Woman
• Heart Full of Soul
• Heartbreak Hotel
• Held up Without a Gun
• Henry Boy
• High Hopes
• Highway 61 Revisited
• Hold On
• I Ain't Got No Home
• I Can't Help Falling in Love
• I Sold My Heart to The Junkman
• I Wanna Be Where The Bands Are
• I Want You
• I'm a Coward
• In Freehold
• In Michigan
• Jackson Cage
• Janey Needs a Shooter
• Jazz Musician
• Jeanny Needs a Shooter
• Jungeland
• Land of Hope & Dreams
• Let's Go
• Let's Go Tonight
• Lift Me Up
• Like a Rolling Stone
• Little Girl So Fine
• Little Things That Count
• Long Time Coming.
• Look to The Land
• Love on The Wrong Side of Town
• Love's on The Line
• Many Rivers to Cross
• Merry Christmas Baby
• Missing
• Native American
• New Jersey is My Home
• No Need
• None but The Brave
• On The Prowl
• Out of Work
• Outside Looking In
• Pilgrim in The Temple of Love
• Preacher's Daughter
• Protection
• Remember when The Music
• Rickie
• Rockin' All Over The World
• Santa Claus is Coming to Town
• Savin' Up
• Say Sons
• Sell It & They Will Come
• She's Leaving
• She's So Fine
• Song to The Orphans
• Spanish Eyes
• Spanish Harlem
• Street Queen
• Sugarland
• Sweet Soul Music
• Talk to Me
• Taxi Cab
• That's What You Get
• The Ballad of The Architect Angel
• The Big Payback
• The Hitter
• The Iceman
• The Promise Ii
• The Way
• The Word
• There Will Never Be Another for Me but You.
• This Little Girl
• Tonight
• Trapped
• Trapped Again
• Tweeter & The Monkey Man
• Vibes Man
• Vigilante Man
• Visitation at Fort Horn
• Viva Las Vegas
• Walking in The Street
• Walking Through Midnight
• When You Dance
• White Lies
• White Town
• Who'll Stop The Rain
• Wild Kisses
• Wings for Wheels
• Winter Song
• Without You
• Wreck on The Highway
• You Gotta Fight
• You Mean So Much to Me Baby
• Your Love