Debbie: I have heard, among this clan, you are called the forgotten man.
Iggy: is that what they're saying? well, did you evah!
Both: what a swell party this is!

Iggy: and have you heard the story of a boy, a girl, unrequited love?
Debbie: sounds like pure soap opera. I may cry.
Iggy: aw...
Both: what a swell party this is!

Iggy: what frails!
Debbie: what cocks!
Iggy: what broads!
Debbie: what jocks...
Iggy: what furs! they're beautiful!
Debbie: why, I've never seen such...
Both: yuppity!
Debbie: neither did i.
Iggy: it's all just too...
Both: swellegant!

Debbie: this french champagne...
Iggy: (domestic!)
Debbie: so good for the brain.
Iggy: that's what I was gonna say!
Debbie: well, you know you're a brilliant fellow.
Iggy: thank you, I am!
Debbie: hehe, drink up jim.

Iggy: so... have you ever been out to l.a. lately?
Debbie: well no, not recently.
Iggy: well, I went there and had a rent-a-car and all...
Debbie: oh, really?
Iggy: yeah and I got invited to pia's house... pia zadora's house...
Debbie: really? oh.
Iggy: yeah.
Debbie: was it nice?
Iggy: well, I didn't... I didn't go!
Debbie: oh! hehe.
Iggy: it woulda been swell though!
Debbie: shoulda gone!
Iggy: it woulda been elegant!
Debbie: elegant.
Oh wait, look... look who's coming in now... can you believe it?
Iggy: ...i hear they dismantled pickfair.
Debbie: they did.
Iggy: it wasn't elegant enough. hehe!
Debbie: yeah. probably full of termites.
Iggy: yeah.

Both: it's great!
It's grand!
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wonderland!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la.
We sing so rare, like old camembert.

Iggy: have you heard the dying star - she got bit in the astar bar.
Debbie: sauced again! well, did you evah...
Both: what a swell party this is!

Have you heard?
It's in the stars.
Next july we collide with mars.
Well did you evah!

What a swell party.
What a swell party.
What a swellegant elegant, (sm) party...
Debbie: smarty?
Iggy: party... yeah!
Debbie: a smarty party?
Iggy: I am! a smarty! I'm pretty smart!
Debbie: you are a smarty for coming to this party.
Iggy: yeah, that's right!
Debbie: well piss off.
Iggy: hehehe, that's good! I like that.

• French Kissin' in The Usa
• In Love With Love
• Well, Did You Evah!