With my qualifications
With my qualifications

I could get me a job walking a dog
Chopping a log, cleaning a bog

With my qualifications
With my qualifications

I could see myself stacking a shelf
As a sales assistant at do-it -yourself

With my qualifications
With my qualifications

My brother worked night and day
At the eurostar terminal
And the government gave it away

So what's the point in university?
For three years I read philosophy
Now I read barcodes all day long
Beep-beep-beep sings that check-out song

With my qualifications
Talking 'bout my qualifications
Would you like to see my ph.d.?
My bse? my gcse?
I gotta first in physics so I ought to know
If your fries are for here or to go

• All You Fascists
• Bad Penny
• Heart Like a Wheel
• I Don't Need This Pressure Ron
• Jeane
• Life With The Lions
• Little Time Bomb
• Must I Paint You a Picture
• My Flying Saucer
• Qualifications
• Rotting on Remand
• Rule nor Reason
• Scholarship is The Enemy of Romance
• She's Got a New Spell
• She's Leaving Home
• Tender Comrade
• Thatcherites
• The Boy Done Good
• The Only One
• The Short Answer
• The Tatler
• The Unwelcome Guest
• Think Again
• Valentine's Day is Over
• Walk Away Renee