Fat as I am.
Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?
I get mistaken now for lainie kazan.
How is it that I'm fat as I am?

Fat as I am.
The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.
This is the way they say godzilla began.
How did I get as fat as I am?

Try it again.
All of my friends say I should diet again;
That all my fans are gonna riot again.
Look what happened to liz.

All of my sins
Are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!
I could audition for the doublemint twins.
No one in the biz is as fat as I is.

Ah, but what's a career
When you put it next to knockwurst and beer?
They could park a dc10 on my rear.
God knows I got the gas!

There goes the chair.
But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care!
I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.
Ah, you don't give a damn
When you're fat as I am!

• Fat as I Am!
• I'm Singing Broadway
• Otto Titsling