Umm, so this is a song about newfoundland and we wrote it about the place names and all you have to know is that all the place names in this song are real place names that we found in an atlas,
E we can read!
Yeah, we can read!
Yeah, literacy!

Oh newfoundland, oh newfoundland, ya island in the sea
I love you oh so very much, I joined the ministry
To show you people 'round the rock when tourist season's here
Although in my opinion it' s a gem throughout the year
Well if you're one for swimming, don't think it's outta reach
You can go and take a dip along groswater beach
I know the name's misleading, that's quite a problem here
Instead let's go to goobies and have ourselves a beer

From woody point to come-by-chance to good ol' ferryland
Come take a look at gander, blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on dildo if you think you've got the time

Well you can go to blow-me-down before it get's to dark (gasp)
Oh sorry ma'am, I should have said, that's our provincial park
There's also whippet harbour, or maybe butter pot
Or maybe I'll just hit the pub I'm feeling like a shot
Well you can sail on quidi vidi, or look at joe batt's arm
There's placentia and there's cow head (mooo!), they're so full of charm
Get married down in kilbride, have a party in hate bay
Or have some screech in fogo and forget about the day

From woody point to come-by-chance to good ol' ferryland
Come take a look at gander, blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on dildo if you think you've got the time
Okay, the drinkin' verse

*sing drunkenly here*

From woody point to come-by-chance to good ol' ferryland
Come take a look at gander, blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on dildo if you think you've got the time
So spend a night on dildo if you think you've got the time
So spend a night on dildo if you think you've got the time
Cod!

Special thanks to fiona younger for the spelling of some placenames.

• A Night on Dildo
• Big Fat Road Manager
• Carrot Juice is Murder
• Having Fun is Bad for You
• Killer Robots from Venus
• Losing Hair Under God
• Rippy The Gator
• The Fishing Song
• The Last Sensitive Cowboy
• Tokyo Love Song
• William Shakespeare's in My Cat