My father was a lawyer, mom's at university
My brother and my sister, they both have their ph.d.
My grampa was a pilot shooting nazis from t he sky
But I am the most famous, I'm a tv weather guy

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy

They said that I'm not qualified to be on the tv
Don't know celsius from fahrenheit so I just say degrees
I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies
And end up being right more than the guy on channel five

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy

On saturdays I must be out of bed by five a.m.
Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens
Greeting all the viewers with a hi-hi-hip-hello!
'cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show

He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock
He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog
Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry
He's a lousy clown but a good tv weather guy

They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman
Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland
But I know that some day I will reach my tv goal
When I guest star on baywatch or 90210

'til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy
He's got a steady income as a tv weather guy!

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• The Hockey Song
• Tv Weather Guy
• Waiting to Sell Out